I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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