hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
