drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
