I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
