omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize