he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
