are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
