Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
