talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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