Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
