Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
do herpes really smell.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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