I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
