FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
