Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
