Slut skills are useful in every country.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
