distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
