I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize