I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I understand Curling. That high.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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