I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize