dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
