I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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