It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
