My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I had to cum in my sink.
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