I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
too bad you live with your parents still
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
