You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
