So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
they're like a gay fantastic four
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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