Got a toothbrush?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
