just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i now understand why vodka
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
