Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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