I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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