I think I died a long time ago.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
