What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
