Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
