Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize