I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
