Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
