Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
