Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
