Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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