ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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