We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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