They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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