when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
