Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
