Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
