You made me cry and you don't even care
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
