i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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