i just had sex bonerless
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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