he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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