do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
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