Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
