So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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