so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
