I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
