You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
