After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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