I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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