Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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