Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
