K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
