ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
