The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
