I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
a search helicopter?!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
